Very touching. I think though that you are much more in touch with yourslef than you probably were back then which would make any relationship you had today likely a very different dynamic. Our friend Dennis is Autistic and partnered and he just has a very "blunt" hubby who accepts that sometimes Dennis doesn't pick up on subtle emotional cues. Rather than being hurt by it, his partner just reminds Dennis what he needs from him and Dennis is very capable of providing it. Dennis just needs a reminder now and then. You should consider putting yourslef out there again one of these days. I am quite confident you could enrich the life of someone who loved you for who you were and not "inflict" yourself upon them.