mellowtigger (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mellowtigger) wrote2008-12-02 07:19 am
mellowtigger) wrote2008-12-02 07:19 am
Entry tags:
life in review
My year-long experiment ends today. I sometimes choose activities to do for a year at a time, to see what I can learn from them. One year it was celibacy (too easy/natural for me, and I learned almost nothing from that year), one year it was honesty (also too easy/natural, but I learned that the difficult thing is to make sure that a person understands what I intend to convey), and this last year it was journaling.
For some reason, I tend to start these experiments in December, usually around Winter Solstice. What I learned from it this time is that I still have lots of room for improvement in writing to make my points clear. I realized a few months ago that I had been talking a lot more than usual at the weekly Bear Coffee event, and I attribute that change to my writing here. I kept up-to-date on various issues online, and then when I was around people it was like I had a script prepared so it was very easy to jump into topics that I had already been pondering. That side-effect is very useful, and it was unexpected. I had expected my writing here to help prevent me from "unloading" long diatribes on poor recipients by email, and the experiment was a success in that regard too. I did break that bad habit (mostly).
I expect to stop posting daily now, although I don't know what kind of frequency I'll settle in to keeping. There are still thoughts that I ought to try describing, but I may settle into the old rut of waiting for a "person of import" (boyfriend) to talk to about such things. That doesn't happen, though, so thoughts may just remain unexpressed.
I considered closing the year with a week-long event of posting my results to the memes that seem so common online. The only one that seemed truly intresting to me, though, was the Life Experience Test. And it was interesting only because I disagreed so strongly with the results. By its estimation, I've lived a rather bland life. So, I thought I should close the year with a review of a few things I have done in the course of my life that seem noteworthy (to me):
Now it's time to go do tech support at the Animal Humane Society. I hope that I feel up to continuing the Furry Friday effort in the months ahead. I like those posts.
For some reason, I tend to start these experiments in December, usually around Winter Solstice. What I learned from it this time is that I still have lots of room for improvement in writing to make my points clear. I realized a few months ago that I had been talking a lot more than usual at the weekly Bear Coffee event, and I attribute that change to my writing here. I kept up-to-date on various issues online, and then when I was around people it was like I had a script prepared so it was very easy to jump into topics that I had already been pondering. That side-effect is very useful, and it was unexpected. I had expected my writing here to help prevent me from "unloading" long diatribes on poor recipients by email, and the experiment was a success in that regard too. I did break that bad habit (mostly).
I expect to stop posting daily now, although I don't know what kind of frequency I'll settle in to keeping. There are still thoughts that I ought to try describing, but I may settle into the old rut of waiting for a "person of import" (boyfriend) to talk to about such things. That doesn't happen, though, so thoughts may just remain unexpressed.
I considered closing the year with a week-long event of posting my results to the memes that seem so common online. The only one that seemed truly intresting to me, though, was the Life Experience Test. And it was interesting only because I disagreed so strongly with the results. By its estimation, I've lived a rather bland life. So, I thought I should close the year with a review of a few things I have done in the course of my life that seem noteworthy (to me):
- I've listened to the ants and lived in their perspective for a brief time.
- I've looked into a nuclear reactor and seen the beautiful blue glow, truly a wonder of nature to behold.
- I've rebuilt my mind from rubble when it was necessary to survive.
- I've faced discrimination at work, losing one job and having my work hours slashed (from 40 to 15) at another because of the "gay" issue.
- I've turned away money that I didn't deserve.
- I've been called "the boy who gets the cats to play with him" by an old woman who watched the feral cats at her home in the desert.
- I've watched a tornado, from a safe distance. I've played in the rubble left by a mega-tornado from years past.
- I've done the impossible, (1) asking for help to (2) borrow money for gasoline to (3) drive far away to (4) visit a stranger, just to quell the aching need to fall asleep in his arms as soon as I arrived. A "stretch" is insufficient to describe the significance of the effort.
- I've had my life in jeopardy twice that I know of, threatened by homophobic bullies. The police got involved with the suspected Klansman.
- I've tested the integrated circuits that went into medical scanning equipment by thumping them hard in a magnetic pulse hammer and then listening to them with a microphone to detect any rattling of loose wires inside them.
- I've heard angel(s) singing, briefly, once long ago. (Singular? Plural? Hard to know the difference from the sound.)
- I've looked at writing for a full minute and not recognized what any of it was, even though I knew it was supposed to be English.
- I've assisted briefly (and quite ineffectively) the World Oceanographic Circulation Experiment (WOCE).
Now it's time to go do tech support at the Animal Humane Society. I hope that I feel up to continuing the Furry Friday effort in the months ahead. I like those posts.
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I already have projects that I want to work on, but I need more attention to devote to them. I don't have any Experiments lined up yet, but I'm sure something will eventually develop. I will still be posting here, but I've just stopped making an effort to post daily (and only daily). :)
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A wonderful effect of autism is the inability of those affected by it to employ guile. Guilelessness is an endearing, if occasionally awkward, quality. It's too bad that people see autism as a dis-ability when it enables abilities that many people can't acquire even when they work at it.
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