It's Moody Monday, so it's the day for unpleasant topics. How about something more challenging, though? Do you think it's possible for you to feel compassion for Trump?

I didn't think I could, but I'm less certain after viewing the video that I'm sharing today. In this 14-minute video, a psychiatrist presents some history and analysis of Donald J Trump. This story presents a compelling argument for why Trump's compassion is always (and likely always will be) sorely lacking. Watch the entirety, if you dare risk feeling sorry for this leader on the world stage.

This video, "Why Trump Gets Angry When People Suffer", is only 14 minutes long. Give it a go. It explains why that televised talk with Zelenskyy was so painful to watch. It needed to be exactly that ambush in order to protect Trump's own self-esteem.

So... it doesn't excuse Trump's behavior. It does, however, seem to explain it rather well. It also explains Trump's persistent hatred of Obama. How could Trump feel anything else after Obama mocked Trump at the White House Correspondents Dinner back in 2011? Reimagine every press conference in 2025 as Trump privately sneering at media leaders who previously laughed at him publicly in 2011 but now striving to speak directly to him. His disdain seems almost reasonable, from his perspective, doesn't it? I expect to be back to reviling Trump by next week. Okay, probably tomorrow. I've thought since 2019, and the opinionated James Carville now wonders too, that Trump suffers ongoing brain damage from an old syphilis infection. I never really considered his childhood and family life as a factor in his current vile behavior.

I can for a few minutes now feel... I dunno... pity, maybe.

This morning, residents of a town not far north of me (about 2 small city borders away in the metro) were ordered to shelter in place and to call 911 to ask if the officer at their door was supposed to be there, before engaging the officer. Why? Because someone with police uniform, gear, and vehicle shot 2 of our lawmakers inside their own homes.

I took some time off from work (I'll have to cut my lunch break short today to make up the time difference) to watch Governer Walz in the press conference on tv this morning. The DFL Representative is dead, and the DFL Senator is alive after surgery. For the non-locals, Minnesota's state Congress is evenly divided. All it takes is losing 1 representative and 1 senator to shift the balance of legislative power in this state. It appears that someone tried to do exactly that. Murdering-the-opposition-party is the logical consequence of letting any party think they can seize power over vacant seats, as happened here earlier this year.

I hope they catch the shooter(s) alive. I hope they live at least long enough to get a pardon from Trump eventually. I expect I-could-shoot-somebody Trump to do it. We live in the bad timeline.

I don't want to work today. I want to leave my job and go join the local No Kings protests. But, I'm poor and old and have to "keep my job". Ugh.

I've skipped some Moody Monday posts in recent months because there was simply too much of everything to consider. Even by disallowing my Doom Bingo 2025 topics, there's still just too much. During the last week, I've had half a dozen topics that seemed to be the most important new issue to mention today. Even since last night, I had this new issue bubble to the top of the stack.

The one thing that seems most urgent to mention is this, a news article from the Daily Boulder, based not in Colorado but in Texas, in the city of Dallas. Granted, it's from a low-credibility source, but the claims in it seem to be verifiable, and slightly more credible news outlets are repeating the story. And there is a lawsuit in progress with the Supreme Court of New York State, focusing on the issues named in the article. You can see the court filing yourself by visiting their court site then clicking the link at the top document named "PETITION *Corrected*".

So... I did not have that conspiracy theory on my card for Doom Bingo 2025. And now it's lodged in my brain. If the lawsuit proves successful, its implication will break the USA.

The gentle rain falling for most of last night and today in Minneapolis did not make local air conditions better, as you'd expect from raindrops carrying particulate matter from the air to the ground. Instead, the cold front took all of that Canadian wildfire smoke from throughout the air column and brought it down to the surface. Ugh.

The short version (original meme source on Reddit, and photo source on MSN via StarTribune):

*gigglesnort*

Apparently Minneapolis has the 2nd worst air quality rating on Earth today.

Edit Wednesday: I added the photograph of downtown Minneapolis half-hidden in the pollution, for better context.

I've been using NasalCrom for several months, and it's an amazing drug. I've had severe allergies my entire life, and I'm certain they played a part in the 2 sinus surgeries that I've already had, thanks to sinus polyps that my overactive sinuses eventually generate which leads to blocked airways and high fevers due to infection. The allergies and the associated sinus troubles are not a real concern any more, thanks to Nasalcrom.

My thanks to wispywillow for mentioning it last summer. In searching for that post, I see that furr_a_bruin mentioned it back in 2011 too, although apparently I never gave it a proper try back then. That's a shame, because it works wonders.

I still can't figure out how it works. It's not a histamine/anti-histamine kind of drug. It's a mast cell stabilizer drug. I don't know much about MCAS (mast cell activation syndrome), but it's related to that. The best analogy I can find is that NasalCrom orders these cells to "Calm down!", so they don't respond with histamine reactions when your immune system tells them that you are exposed to allergens. So, you're still allergic to stuff, but... nothing happens.

That's my experience too. Taking only NasalCrom and nothing else, I can still develop an itchy nose plus a few sneezes. What changes, though, is that my sinuses fail to explode with mucus production. I also take generic fluticasone propionate (sometimes known as Flonase), which is a steroid to reduce inflammation. It's a drug commonly used to deal with asthma, allergies, and nasal polyps like I have a long history of developing. Together, I can even leave my window open at night if I want to, and I don't have to regret it in the morning. At most, I can sometimes tell that my sinuses might be ever-so-slightly swollen or sensitive, like they're on alert because they know allergens are present, but there are no debilitating symptoms that go with it. NasalCrom does the heavy lifting, while the fluticasone softens the few remaining issues.

Together, I'm hopeful that I won't have to deal with polyps blocking my sinuses due to overactive tissues reacting to airborne allergens. If I have no more polyps, then I have no recurring sinus blockage and raging high temperatures, and with no dangerous high temps over 39.5C/103.1F, then I'll have no need for a 3rd sinus surgery. It's a wonder drug, targeted specifically at my sinus tissue. I'm certain it's better for my body than eating pills that affect my whole body, just so I can survive another few hours with strong symptoms.

When, after almost 2 years, I finally created a workstation for myself downstairs at a proper work table, I also moved my gaming computer from that area to my bedroom upstairs. I switched from wired ethernet to wifi. The wifi, however, started failing me almost immediately at the gaming computer alone. Bandwidth was horrible, then my first wifi network stopped connecting at this computer, then the second wifi network started failing too. The wifi was fine on my phone and Chromecast. It was the antenna at my old tower computer that was bad.

I went searching through records, and I originally ordered this wifi adapter (TP-LINK TL-WN881ND 300Mbps) back in 2016. Okay, fair enough. That's a long time for a wifi device to keep working. So, I ordered this wifi adapter (TP-LINK Archer TX55E AX3000) to replace it. It arrived today, and I put it in my gaming computer after work.

My original wifi immediately connected, and bandwidth score went from about 3.5 Mbps download to this very nice 273 Mbps download. Let's just call it a round 100X improvement (it's more like 78X) and move on. :)

The days of monkeying with Linux drivers are past us, for the most part. I plugged this PCI card in, and it just worked.

Today's theme song is just mood music for background play. No words, just soft jazz music and the image of an otter as barista at a coffee shop.

Why this choice today? It was shared amongst coworkers on Friday, and I just learned of it today. My supervisor also sent me a message that May 15 Friday was my 2-year anniversary at work, but I was away as part of my "weekend" schedule at the time, returning today as my "Monday". This song is meant to help provide a calming counterbalance to what I've complained for 2 years is a highly stressful job position. As evidence of this stress, I learned today that the guy I trained in October for this job is moving back to his old job. So, after half a year he decided that his former department was better for him. I'm sorry that he didn't want to stick around, but at least he's still staying with the university.

So, I've mentioned for 2 years how stressed out I get, I'm losing my trainee to his old job soon, and coworkers shared this nice stress-relieving music for jazzy vibes.

Enjoy the music. Peace. :)

There's a new YouTube video posted 11 hours ago. I expect it to go viral.

Here's the full transcript from the less-than-2-minute video.

"My name is Ken Turner, and I'm 98 years old, and I've served in the British Army in World War II as did this Sherman tank. I'm old enough to have seen fascism the first time around. Now, it's coming back. Elon Musk, the richest man in the world, is using his immense power to support the far right in Europe, and his money comes from Tesla cars. Well, I've got this message for Mr. Musk: We've crushed fascism before, and we'll crush it again. So, let's go, shall we? Let's go."

That's an #antifa message that I heartily support. An original anti-fascist hasn't given up the fight. The video sits at 50,211 views as I type this message tonight. I hope it grows significantly higher soon.

My temperature was only 37.2C/99.0F this morning. I wore long clothes in the morning to stay warm, because I felt cool still. By afternoon, I took off the long sleeve shirt. After work, I felt well enough to finally get outside and do some gardening.

I'm pretty sure I'm developing arthritis in both feet. The pain is similar but still in the developing stage. My left knee, though. I had to stop gardening because I kept grimacing and audibly "ow"-ing whenever I had to stand up. It's a sharp pain like arthritis, but it doesn't feel quite as concentrated and pointy as arthritis. Hopefully it's just a result of being unfit, and it will heal into good shape soon.

If it ends up being arthritis, then I'll probably have to sell my house. Yuck. I can't keep up the yard without good knees. I can deal with the rest of it, even the feet, I think. Knees, though... I don't want to be so old that I can't garden. I don't want to sell my house to somebody who'll just put in a grass yard. I want all of this effort to continue keeping pollinators around.

For now... good thoughts. Rest for now, not aggravating the knee. At least until tomorrow after work, when I'll I return to the garden to remove more grass that shouldn't be there. Today, I disturbed some large flower bulbs whose sprouts hadn't yet broken the surface. Good thoughts for them too. I hope I didn't damage anything important while trying to keep my yard in fair condition for city inspectors who drive around occasionally.

It fascinates me that this whole-body arthritis flare-up seemed triggered by that pneumococcal vaccine. I went searching just now, and this Arthritis Foundation webpage recommends getting the vaccine "... or when your arthritis isn't active". What's up with that?

I just walked back from a visit to my local doctor, a follow-up after getting a home blood pressure machine a few weeks ago. I like data, so I recorded a few notable blood pressure readings. It was the usual borderline issue that has persisted for years, with only 2 exceptions recorded on this home machine. The high reading was immediately after turning off "The Last Of Us", another violent episode that I couldn't stomach and had to turn away. The low reading was during my week-long staycation from work this week, not having to deal with the stress of my current job, and sleeping a lot more than usual. I suspected that this job might be "too much" for me to handle long term, but I finally have some data to back up that feeling.

The doctor prescribed hydrochlorothiazide. We're going to try getting the blood pressure down as a temporary measure. In addition, they are sending me to another sleep specialist, hoping to get me a sleep apnea solution that uses new technology. I don't find it documented in Dreamwidth, but I long ago was prescribed a CPAP for sleep apnea. I gave it up almost immediately because I developed a rash on my face everywhere that the mask touched my skin. I've seen ads for new contraptions that are either mini-masks or some even somehow using electrical stimulation to solve the problem. I'm excited to learn what new technology the new specialist-doctor recommends for me.

The doctor also is referring me to a different gastroenterology clinic, one where they don't use the usual drug to "put people under". It may be because of that drug that a Minnesota law newly (since about 2023, I think, although I don't know which law) requires the patient to have someone transport them to the clinic, remain at the clinic throughout the procedure, and transport the patient back home again. In the past, medical transportation services would take you there and back again. I contacted those services, but they told me they can't do it anymore under this new law, because they're not going to wait around for half a day for a single patient case. We'll see what comes of this new recommendation. I'm a few years behind on what I know needs to be done, because they always find polyps, and I've been doing them since around age 30 because of unrelated gastrointestinal issues.

This is my first long term (but hopefully short term) pharmaceutical pill. Apparently I'm now old enough for me to mooch insurance money off of the healthy young people, instead of paying more into it. I wish we could just do socialized medicine, like a civilized society would do, to make all of this process easier and cheaper on everyone. Instead, I'll be filing insurance claims and costing my coworkers more money. Can you imagine how much extra medical service we could afford if we weren't also paying for health insurance millionaires, stockholders, and denial-of-care bureaucracy?

Edit 7pm: My arm is starting to hurt finally from the pneumococcal vaccine that I got at the clinic this morning. I picked up the hydrochlorothiazide at the pharmacy this morning. The pills are very tiny. If I thought that I was peeing a little too often before, that was just practice. The doctor advised that I take the pill in the morning rather than at night, and I see why. Frequent bathroom breaks are now required. I called the neurology clinic to set up an appointment for sleep apnea discussion. I need to transfer records from long ago to this new service, so they can see my prior diagnosis and test results. Now, I need to figure out how to transport myself to that far northwest metro location. The bus service map didn't offer any routes from my house to there, so I may have to just Uber/Lyft my way there. Certainly doable.

Edit 8pm: In my haste to discuss my urination schedule, I forgot to mention that the insurance co-pay on my prescription hydrochlorothiazide was a mere US$0.36, and that figure is not a mistake. I have no idea what it actually costs to my insurance and therefore my coworkers, but that price is incredibly cheap to me at the pharmacy counter.