La Quimica del Amor

otterlover01 posted an interesting review of a lecture about the chemistry of love.  (Although paragraphs would help.  *wink*)

dopamine phase: The pheromone chemistry phase is the one where people get all "bent out of shape".  The excitement can be addictive for some people.  On average, this phase lasts 14 months.  endorphine phase: After the energy-expensive dopamine phase of excitement ends, the more stable endorphine "pleasure" stage can begin.  It's possible for this phase to last a lifetime. questions and answers: Is there a pill or an injection of dopamines or endorphines to create these feelings?  No. Can we live a higher-intensity loving experience even at an older age?  Maybe, but in general youthful brains will be more energetic. Are females faithful and males unfaithful?  Hard to measure, since cultural norms differ so much. Is homosexual love equal to heterosexual love?  They are exactly the same. They are indistinguishable.

I would argue that the dopamine phase is addictive for most people, and that's the main reason why open relationships seem so common these days, so people can continue to acquire this self-produced chemical high.

As for me, I've made only 3 attempts at actual move-in-together relationships.  All of those were long ago.  Each of them lasted only 6-18 months, so they could easily be classified in the dopamine category.

Only 2 times, though, have I felt a powerful attraction strong enough to motivate me to do something far outside of my norm.  For one I came out as gay, for the other I made a special trip to visit him.  (An easy thing for other people, but quite difficult for me.  Probably an "autistic thing".)  Those sensations did not begin until I'd already known the person for more than a year (without the usual dopamine reaction).  Sort of like the endorphins have to build until a tipping point is reached and then the dopamine rush gets added on top of it.  Way out of hand, biochemically, but that seems to be what it takes to finally trip my switch.  It should come as no surprise that no actual relationship resulted from either case.  It isn't the way to win friends and influence people (positively).  *laugh*  No mere mortal could endure the onslaught of such an emotional tidal wave.

So I don't know where that puts me on the human chart o' love.  I haven't really tried in a very long time.  I came to the conclusion 11+ years ago that I was a bad match for anyone, so life (for both me and the other guy) would be easier if I just avoided the whole mess.