![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
National Hiding From Humanity Day
2012-Oct-11, Thursday 11:13 amIt's National Coming Out Day, but I can't muster any enthusiasm for it. I'm still bummed about the vivisectionist flirting with me last weekend. Humans are weird, and I wish I could find a life that kept me away from them. My cats like their kibble, though, so I have to stay in "civilization" to keep them pampered with regular meals and clay litter. I keep postponing my hopes of walking into the forest and leaving humanity.
I paid money to attend a local sci-fi convention last weekend. I ended up spending only half of Friday there (after work), skipping all of Saturday and Sunday and the big dinner event that I paid extra for. I should have kept my money and my emotional balance. The convention itself was nice. I even had a panel moderator stop me in the hallway to say that I asked some good questions at her panel. I spent several hours (into the wee morning) playing a new card game with 3 other conventioners.
There were even other autistic adults at the convention. I recognized one from an informal autistic group a few years ago. I recognized two others who were visitors to Occupy Minnesota last year. One of that pair was an author panelist at the convention, and it amused me that I knew someone who was a panelist. When I talk to autistic adults, their experiences are more like mine than any other people I know. It's like autistics send out flare gun signals that attract anyone who might gain something by preying on outcasts and isolationists.
To be fair, I'm only assuming the guy was a vivisectionist. There were a few clues, though. First, he kept telling me that he had some extreme fetishes. Second, he said that he was into throbbing arteries, and he noted that I was difficult to read that way. It's true, my arteries do a good job of "hiding" so that nurses always have a difficult time collecting blood from me. Third, he said that he especially liked hearts. He asked if I had ever seen one, and they were like powerful muscular balloons. He failed if he was trying to scare or intimidate me. I already know that humans are weird, and I don't really enjoy spending time around them. Instead, I was just... "disappointed", I think is the correct word. Other people attend conventions without vivisectionists telling them that they're one of the best looking people there. Not me, though.
I guess I just can't take a compliment.
Happy holiday. The date is 10-11-12, if you're a backward American who orders time components illogically.
edit 2012.10.18: I recently encountered this comic strip, and it embodies the experience fairly well. Maybe it's not as rare as I thought? Kinda sad, really.
I paid money to attend a local sci-fi convention last weekend. I ended up spending only half of Friday there (after work), skipping all of Saturday and Sunday and the big dinner event that I paid extra for. I should have kept my money and my emotional balance. The convention itself was nice. I even had a panel moderator stop me in the hallway to say that I asked some good questions at her panel. I spent several hours (into the wee morning) playing a new card game with 3 other conventioners.
There were even other autistic adults at the convention. I recognized one from an informal autistic group a few years ago. I recognized two others who were visitors to Occupy Minnesota last year. One of that pair was an author panelist at the convention, and it amused me that I knew someone who was a panelist. When I talk to autistic adults, their experiences are more like mine than any other people I know. It's like autistics send out flare gun signals that attract anyone who might gain something by preying on outcasts and isolationists.
To be fair, I'm only assuming the guy was a vivisectionist. There were a few clues, though. First, he kept telling me that he had some extreme fetishes. Second, he said that he was into throbbing arteries, and he noted that I was difficult to read that way. It's true, my arteries do a good job of "hiding" so that nurses always have a difficult time collecting blood from me. Third, he said that he especially liked hearts. He asked if I had ever seen one, and they were like powerful muscular balloons. He failed if he was trying to scare or intimidate me. I already know that humans are weird, and I don't really enjoy spending time around them. Instead, I was just... "disappointed", I think is the correct word. Other people attend conventions without vivisectionists telling them that they're one of the best looking people there. Not me, though.
I guess I just can't take a compliment.
Happy holiday. The date is 10-11-12, if you're a backward American who orders time components illogically.
edit 2012.10.18: I recently encountered this comic strip, and it embodies the experience fairly well. Maybe it's not as rare as I thought? Kinda sad, really.