Minnesota is not alright
2021-Jul-30, Friday 09:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mellowtiggerI am in the same position as the rest of the state. I am not doing well physically or mentally these days.
Yesterday, the sky was beige. It's a good representation for life right now. The news on tv last night mentioned that we have the worst air quality in the whole USA right now (not just in our own state history), because somehow the smoke from the wildfires in the west is coming down to ground level here, rather than flying high in the air. I didn't take any pictures, but you can see good images on Twitter here, here, here, here, and here. In addition, although the heat dome didn't reach my house this week, other parts of nearby Minnesota did reach 41C/106F heat index this week.
I have a constant sinus headache. I'm snorting constantly to clear up my sinuses, and whenever I happen to cough then I get some very mild crud up from my lungs. I spent most of yesterday in an antihistamine-induced stupor, sometimes just fading in and out of sleep while laying in bed. Today already feels like the same schedule awaits me. Knowing my body, I will have a sinus infection soon if this blockage continues.
As for mental condition, well... here in Minneapolis, they keep finding more body parts for a guy who was murdered and butchered and then spread around town. And yesterday a man with a history of domestic violence decided to decapitate a woman he was involved with, out in broad daylight on a sidewalk in the far south metro in Shakopee. People are not doing well. And this trauma is happening even before the national eviction moratorium ends this weekend.
I've been increasingly distressed at work, despite taking an extensive staycation this month. I talked with one of the people who quit this month, and they don't have another job lined up. They just have to get away for their own mental health. I'm feeling in the same bind at the moment. I don't want to quit. I don't want things to stay the same. I'm just feeling anxious about everything in general and want proof that things can change, maybe? I could do the same as they did. I could quit with nothing lined up.
I have some modest savings (by my minimal standards) to last a while, but that would be a very risky move. I know that now is the time for the "great resignation" and all, but it's tough for older people to find work. Except maybe at Home Depot. I was very aware at my last visit there how so many of the workers were even older than me. American society is terrible. "Richest nation on the planet". I'm doing really well, when you average me with the billionaires launching themselves into space.
So... Minnesota is not alright. I am not alright. And climate crises seem to keep piling up non-stop this year. Where did all of the hippie communes go? I already checked this week, and the Twin Cities Ecovillage is no longer looking for big-funding backers, so maybe they've already sold the main housing lots.
The best plan for me still seems to be selling my house in the spring, then using the money to fund a trip back to school. Or an ecovillage. I could see myself doing either plan, honestly. I don't know if I can wait. Something's gotta give, and soon. Both for me and for the world. I guess I'm just seeking hope for the future right now, wherever I can find it. Me, and everyone else maybe.
Yesterday, the sky was beige. It's a good representation for life right now. The news on tv last night mentioned that we have the worst air quality in the whole USA right now (not just in our own state history), because somehow the smoke from the wildfires in the west is coming down to ground level here, rather than flying high in the air. I didn't take any pictures, but you can see good images on Twitter here, here, here, here, and here. In addition, although the heat dome didn't reach my house this week, other parts of nearby Minnesota did reach 41C/106F heat index this week.
I have a constant sinus headache. I'm snorting constantly to clear up my sinuses, and whenever I happen to cough then I get some very mild crud up from my lungs. I spent most of yesterday in an antihistamine-induced stupor, sometimes just fading in and out of sleep while laying in bed. Today already feels like the same schedule awaits me. Knowing my body, I will have a sinus infection soon if this blockage continues.
As for mental condition, well... here in Minneapolis, they keep finding more body parts for a guy who was murdered and butchered and then spread around town. And yesterday a man with a history of domestic violence decided to decapitate a woman he was involved with, out in broad daylight on a sidewalk in the far south metro in Shakopee. People are not doing well. And this trauma is happening even before the national eviction moratorium ends this weekend.
I've been increasingly distressed at work, despite taking an extensive staycation this month. I talked with one of the people who quit this month, and they don't have another job lined up. They just have to get away for their own mental health. I'm feeling in the same bind at the moment. I don't want to quit. I don't want things to stay the same. I'm just feeling anxious about everything in general and want proof that things can change, maybe? I could do the same as they did. I could quit with nothing lined up.
I have some modest savings (by my minimal standards) to last a while, but that would be a very risky move. I know that now is the time for the "great resignation" and all, but it's tough for older people to find work. Except maybe at Home Depot. I was very aware at my last visit there how so many of the workers were even older than me. American society is terrible. "Richest nation on the planet". I'm doing really well, when you average me with the billionaires launching themselves into space.
So... Minnesota is not alright. I am not alright. And climate crises seem to keep piling up non-stop this year. Where did all of the hippie communes go? I already checked this week, and the Twin Cities Ecovillage is no longer looking for big-funding backers, so maybe they've already sold the main housing lots.
The best plan for me still seems to be selling my house in the spring, then using the money to fund a trip back to school. Or an ecovillage. I could see myself doing either plan, honestly. I don't know if I can wait. Something's gotta give, and soon. Both for me and for the world. I guess I'm just seeking hope for the future right now, wherever I can find it. Me, and everyone else maybe.