La Quimica del Amor

[mellowtigger]

otterlover01 posted an interesting review of a lecture about the chemistry of love.  (Although paragraphs would help.  *wink*)

dopamine phase: The pheromone chemistry phase is the one where people get all "bent out of shape".  The excitement can be addictive for some people.  On average, this phase lasts 14 months.  endorphine phase: After the energy-expensive dopamine phase of excitement ends, the more stable endorphine "pleasure" stage can begin.  It's possible for this phase to last a lifetime. questions and answers: Is there a pill or an injection of dopamines or endorphines to create these feelings?  No. Can we live a higher-intensity loving experience even at an older age?  Maybe, but in general youthful brains will be more energetic. Are females faithful and males unfaithful?  Hard to measure, since cultural norms differ so much. Is homosexual love equal to heterosexual love?  They are exactly the same. They are indistinguishable.

I would argue that the dopamine phase is addictive for most people, and that's the main reason why open relationships seem so common these days, so people can continue to acquire this self-produced chemical high.

As for me, I've made only 3 attempts at actual move-in-together relationships.  All of those were long ago.  Each of them lasted only 6-18 months, so they could easily be classified in the dopamine category.

Only 2 times, though, have I felt a powerful attraction strong enough to motivate me to do something far outside of my norm.  For one I came out as gay, for the other I made a special trip to visit him.  (An easy thing for other people, but quite difficult for me.  Probably an "autistic thing".)  Those sensations did not begin until I'd already known the person for more than a year (without the usual dopamine reaction).  Sort of like the endorphins have to build until a tipping point is reached and then the dopamine rush gets added on top of it.  Way out of hand, biochemically, but that seems to be what it takes to finally trip my switch.  It should come as no surprise that no actual relationship resulted from either case.  It isn't the way to win friends and influence people (positively).  *laugh*  No mere mortal could endure the onslaught of such an emotional tidal wave.

So I don't know where that puts me on the human chart o' love.  I haven't really tried in a very long time.  I came to the conclusion 11+ years ago that I was a bad match for anyone, so life (for both me and the other guy) would be easier if I just avoided the whole mess.

Comments

love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[kroyd.livejournal.com]

Endogenous opioid polypeptide compounds, more commonly called endogenous morphines, or endorphines for short, are chemicals present in the brain which, among other things, affect our mood and our drive. Though I am no expert on neurology, as a licensed psychotherapist, I do know a good deal on the topic.

Dopamine is one endorphine along with seratonin, epanephrine, norepanephrine, etc.... I'm not sure how many more there are. The popular anti-depressant medications helps increase the amount of seratonine and/or dopamine in the brain which reduces depression. Various pleasurable or painful, or fearful experiences cause us to produce more of one or more of these chimicals.

Thus the person lecturing, or the person paraphrasing it has this part a bit incorrect. It's an issue of categorical nomenclature.

Yet the point of the lecture is not lost. New love is indeed more about a biochemical drive to screw, and that mechanism does not require, nor does it allow, much critical thinking.

This phase is relatively brief. If someone experiences it for as long at 18-24 months; I say fantastic. For most of us it is much shorter. LOL... I speak from the point of a gay man; so go figure.

If the two individuals have enough common goals and equal desire to maintain an intimate and collaborative relationship it has the potential to evolve into a "longterm" relationship; either as romantically involved life-partners, or as life-long platonic friends.

The soft-science of physical attraction and love is a fascinating endeavor and I "love" learning about it and observing the process in others. Mostly I LOVE experiencing it myself! I can easily be drawn into the initial phase of love, but as I age I am less willing to do this because, (1)there are fewer and fewer opportunities, and (2)I wish to avoid the end product which thus far has been the pain that comes from the ending of such a relationship and the difficulties that come with attempts to have the relationship evolve into a more long term type.

In spite of my reluctance, the joy of new love is so alluring I rarely pass up the opportunity. If you do not take the risk of loving, you will miss out on receiving that same love. The risk is well worth it in my book.

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[mellowtigger]

Good to know. I'm not very familiar with brain chemistry, so I didn't recognize that dopamine is also a kind of endorphin. The story went through several phases (transcription, translation, and then my summary), so plenty of opportunity for error to creep in. :)

When science is able to measure the pheromone compatibility of two people who have never even met, then I figure we'll be well on our way to proper matchmaking. For now, I just keep a profile at bearciti and okcupid, on the off chance that the universe can still surprise me. *laugh*

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[maradydd.livejournal.com]

Erm, dopamine is a phenethylamine (more specifically, a catecholamine), not an endorphin at all. Ditto for serotonin, norepinephrine and epinephrine.

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[kroyd.livejournal.com]

Thanks!!! You are, of course, absolutely correct. Thanks for setting me straight. I have been intermingling facts from two different lessons in physiological psychology. It has been so many years. LOL.... Now that I have looked it up, I can drop using the term "endorphins" when on the subject of Serotonin etc... for they are instead, neurotransmitters.

I hope I can still tell clients and others that "doing physcial exercise produces endogenous morphines; and they don't call them morphins for nothing." It is such a good way to explain exercise's effect on the mood.

Thanks again. I needed this. :)

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[maradydd.livejournal.com]

Sure thing! I'm glad I could clear that up for you -- brain chemistry and neurology are among my hobbies. :)

You're absolutely right that physical exercise and endorphin release are correlated; on the high (har!) end you get "runner's high", which has carried many a distance runner through a euphoric race. The opioid peptides (which include the enkephalins, produced by your brain, as well as opioid peptides from food sources, such as gluteomorphin and casomorphin) are structurally a bit different from morphine/codeine and their relatives, but they definitely bind to our opioid receptors -- and much more effectively than plant opiates do!

"Neurotransmitter" is kind of a generic term for anything that binds to a receptor in the brain, so opiates, catecholamine neurotransmitters, and endogenous opioid peptides are all neurotransmitters of one type or another. You would be technically correct to refer to endorphins as neurotransmitters, but if it confuses your patients, maybe just refer to endorphins as "endorphines" or "endogenous opiates" and to serotonin/norepinephrine/dopamine/&c as "neurotransmitters".

Oh, and then there are all the transport proteins, which is how SSRIs actually work, but that's really deep biochem and a lot of people find it terribly boring. :)

Amusing side note: my girlfriend cannot consume dairy products because she does not digest casein completely -- it remains casomorphin, binds to her opioid receptors and makes her really unpleasantly high.

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Interesting aside - my old poly lesbian friends online used to call the 'dopamine phase' as Pink Fluffy Stupids.

I love the term, it's very true. And why if you are doing the open relationship / quad relationship / whatever geometry relationship thing - not to make any major decisions in those 12+ months. Doing so will lead to pain for everyone...

I learnt a lot from their more prosaic (and yes chemical) approach to love - people think it's unromantic but really, to be aware of the pitfalls and the processes is not to destroy them, just makes you more wise...you can still do most of the pink fluffy stuff, just not fly off into the sunset if other people are involved ;-) Best to talk about it with others first.

I'm sure others think spontaneity = romanticism but I'm not too sure. Having someone impulsive and not thinking things through sounds ultimately very unromantic and spells trouble during the 'comedown phase' when it mellows and lengthens into something more sustainable.

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

Can sugar cause a similar high?

Re: love, joy, pain? Bring it on!!!

[fingertrouble.livejournal.com]

oh and mellowtigger - I hope it does surprise you someday. :-)

:o)

[otterlover01.livejournal.com]

Well, we all LOVE love don't we? Look at all the responses!!! You made a great synthesis of my not-so-synthetic rendering of the lecture! Big hugs, Luis.