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deep waters raise crushing waves
2009-Apr-26, Sunday 09:28 amI don't do anger. It sets a bad precedent. I don't want anything to do with that path. I mentioned a year ago that I was communicating online with someone who had schizophrenia. It ended soon after that note with an angry comment from him. I closed my instant messaging program and haven't opened it up since. I don't do anger. Not even once.
Personal boundaries and self-interest are supposed to be good things. I've been told more than once that I should be more assertive about what I want. I've gotten myself into plenty of dangerous (political, or actually life-threatening) situations by simply doing what someone asked me to do. The alternative, though, developing skill in opposing other people because of what I want for myself... that's too dangerous to contemplate.
When I was around 5 or 6, I was the cause of an incident that escalated until I ended up getting a scar on my skin. Frustration is a bad thing when combined with an inability to modulate emotional states. It's better to keep the waters calm, always. Flirting with the excitement offered by playing with forces beyond your control is.... dangerous.
In the interest of Autism Awareness, there's another story that you should read...
A drug called Lupron.
I reached for my single semester of Latin. "Lupron? You want to take the werewolf out of him?"
"Exactly," said the Israeli. "But it's our last resort."
- http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/26/bauer_autism/index.html
As I keep insisting... when it's time, I'm walking into the forest and not coming back.
Today, though, I think I'm going to shower and then drive out to the zoo. I'll bring my laptop with me in case I need to go out to the car and connect remotely to work computers to deal with any emailed isses that activate my pager.
(edit 1) p.s. It was over 20 years ago when I chose the name "Mellow Tigger". I chose that phrase for several reasons but mostly because it hints at exactly this issue. There is a danger in feelings emotions too deeply. It's best to stay calm, always. When those rare issues arise that finally trigger my involvement, there's just no way to contain the energy that's unleashed.
(edit 2) p.p.s. I changed the title from "deep waters raise towering waves" in order to improve the consistency of the metaphor. The energy is the same, but the slow waves in deep water become the towering waves in shallow water.
Personal boundaries and self-interest are supposed to be good things. I've been told more than once that I should be more assertive about what I want. I've gotten myself into plenty of dangerous (political, or actually life-threatening) situations by simply doing what someone asked me to do. The alternative, though, developing skill in opposing other people because of what I want for myself... that's too dangerous to contemplate.
When I was around 5 or 6, I was the cause of an incident that escalated until I ended up getting a scar on my skin. Frustration is a bad thing when combined with an inability to modulate emotional states. It's better to keep the waters calm, always. Flirting with the excitement offered by playing with forces beyond your control is.... dangerous.
In the interest of Autism Awareness, there's another story that you should read...
A drug called Lupron.
I reached for my single semester of Latin. "Lupron? You want to take the werewolf out of him?"
"Exactly," said the Israeli. "But it's our last resort."
- http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2009/03/26/bauer_autism/index.html
As I keep insisting... when it's time, I'm walking into the forest and not coming back.
Today, though, I think I'm going to shower and then drive out to the zoo. I'll bring my laptop with me in case I need to go out to the car and connect remotely to work computers to deal with any emailed isses that activate my pager.
(edit 1) p.s. It was over 20 years ago when I chose the name "Mellow Tigger". I chose that phrase for several reasons but mostly because it hints at exactly this issue. There is a danger in feelings emotions too deeply. It's best to stay calm, always. When those rare issues arise that finally trigger my involvement, there's just no way to contain the energy that's unleashed.
(edit 2) p.p.s. I changed the title from "deep waters raise towering waves" in order to improve the consistency of the metaphor. The energy is the same, but the slow waves in deep water become the towering waves in shallow water.