reason enough for hope

It is possible for a closed mind to open. The dangerous can abandon their violent paths. I have seen it happen. I've been hunted, you see, and one day the hunter admitted his fault to his prey. That's reason enough for hope.

Long ago, back during my first stint in college, a gay man warned me to stay away from his roommate who had accidentally (he was supposed to be out of town all weekend) walked in on the two of us smooching in the dorm room. Oops! I didn't understand the prohibition, since I wouldn't even recognize the guy if I saw him again. I mentally filed away the warning with every other nonsensical statement I'd ever heard. I went about my life as usual.

I don't remember how many weeks passed before I saw him again. It may have even been the next semester. One day, that burly black Christian guy came up to me and introduced himself. He explained that he'd been following me ever since our first unintentional meeting. He was trying to catch me "doing something wrong", as he phrased it. He intended to unleash his self-righteous fury on me in that moment of vindication, beating me to death. I remembered the previous warning, and it finally made sense. He intended to hurt me. Now, here he was standing before me, talking about his intentions. As with most of the important conversations in my life, I stood there confused and silent while he continued speaking at me.

This guy explained to me that he never did catch me "doing something wrong", and it perplexed him. The poor guy had chosen to stalk a homosexual who was effectively celibate, so he had lots of spare time to ponder his actions. He eventually realized that his hatred was twisting him into something far worse than the monster that he had imagined me to be. I had not acted as he expected from his preconceived stereotypes. He found himself questioning his stereotypes because of the evidence before him. He told me these things because he wanted to assure me that I was safe from him. I hadn't been worried at all until that confrontation, since I'd been my usual oblivious self. Just as well, I suppose. He realized the error of his ways by himself. He finally understood that everyone should be free to live without interference.

Which leads me to today's theme song: "Gay Pirates" by Cosmo Jarvis (new, extended version). :)

Watch on YouTube

They say they're gonna kill me if I look at you once more.
(They) pissed in my hammock yesterday, so I'll sleep on the floor.
I'd be under the sea, but you hold me above.

And they put glass in my sandals, so my feet would bleed all day.
And they forced me to wear them, or they said they'd make you pay.
I'd be under the sea, but you hold me above.
Cuz you're the man I love.

Yo, ho, Sebastian, let's go far away, somewhere where the captain won't be mad.
Yo, ho, Sebastian, I want to love you good, and we deserve much better than we've had.

In spite of the violent situation they describe, the lyrics are still quite nice. The music is catchy too. They all did an amazing job performing the whole video sequence in one unedited take. The kissing isn't very convincing, but all can be forgiven since Cosmo Jarvis is a heterosexual male performer who obviously understands the core issue.

People can change, but someone must interrupt their fevered dreams of bogeymen. The horrors they imagine are worth opposing. As long as they mistake queer folk for their imagined monsters, they'll continue wasting everyone's energy on pointless hatreds. The solution, as Harvey Milk said so long ago is to "Come out, come out, wherever you are." Truth makes a difference.

The conversion of my potential gay basher is exactly what queer folk everywhere can hope for. I never reported his confession to the police. I can't remember for sure, but I think maybe I've never repeated the details of this story for anyone. I find it relevant now because of recent events in the news.

• President Obama spoke out in favor of gay marriage. I find it less relevant that he's the "sitting" president, but it's very important that he's a "black Christian male" president. The big question for me is whether his statement will hold any persuasive power over this traditionally hardline group.
• Colin Powell stated plainly that gay families are as stable as his own.
• Some churches hear the message and offer powerful reason to maintain hope.
• Even if they're successful, then we still have white churches to contend with. Some of them are quite enthusiastic as they celebrate the indoctrination of another generation into learned bigotry.

We deserve much better than we've had.