hidden thoughts

[mellowtigger]

If you've thought that my blog has become decreasingly chill "Mellow" and increasingly hyperactive "Tigger" for a long time now, you'd be right. It's part of my nature to be overzealous on issues that strike me deeply, and very uninvolved in the rest.  Hence the name.

Trends in the world at large have been triggering my personal alarms for about a decade. I feel a near-constant anxiety about problems (political, economic, environmental, structural) that adversely affect me and my neighborhood.  I accidentally discovered an old "Private" post, visible only to me, that I wrote near the end of the Occupy movement back in 2012. Apparently I never made it public, because I wasn't sure how I felt about revealing some personal details of my life history.

The second half of the writing is hard to follow. It deserves a lot of editing, but I just now deleted it instead.  Give me a break, since apparently I wrote the original text at 3am.  I'm still not too keen on discussing the first half in more detail, but my overarching worldview hinted in the second half is quite accurate today. So, I've opened the post to the world. Here it is for review:

I've lived in a different America from many Americans. I'm familiar with some ugly truths about the "home of the free".
https://mellowtigger.dreamwidth.org/230702.html, 2012 May 04 Fri 3:36am

Our national government bought 450 million rounds of ammunition during Occupy, but it can't buy the millions of COVID-19 tests that we need during a pandemic.  *sigh*  As a reminder of what recent years have been...

Hot take: If 20 formative years of your life involve a major terrorist attack, two recessions, exorbitantly expensive and unnecessary wars, tangibly worsening inequality, climate emergencies, and incompetence during a global pandemic, it might make you think things aren't good.
- https://twitter.com/legogradstudent/status/1240423883020201984

I long for the day when the Mellow returns.  Tigger is tired.