thoughts in good order. no insulting names.

[mellowtigger]

At the last autism adult support group meeting, I was reminded of something that I also do and that needs to stop. Separatism is a potentially harmful urge anyway, but when it's also paired with an air of superiority then it just seems to spiral to its destructive stage even faster. The main hurdle, it seems to me, is that the separatism is so seductive and desirable. It should be expected that when people in Group A suffer at the hands of people in Group B, then naturally Group A should want to distance itself. The strength of that repellent force, though, can be quite remarkable. Autistics sometimes use the word "neurotypical" as a kind of synonym for "evil", meant to convey unholy skill in deceit, lies, and manipulation of any kind.

Some autistics, prone to following their own interests with great intensity, look at typical society and wonder how other people can be so desolate of passionate interest, so devoid of single-minded focus, so dependent on others for their understanding of their own place in the world. Other synonyms for "neurotypical" that you probably haven't heard before but that are used by autistic folk to talk about you, the dominant psychological form amongst humans:

• golem - used by me, years before my diagnosis
• hollow - used by Patty, who died a few years ago
• empty - used by many folk
• sheeple - used by many folk as a particular insult
  
• skinbag - used by Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen, a leading autism researcher, trying to explain to neurotypicals how autistics perceive them

Notice how all of these terms suggest that something essential to meaningful life is lacking from neurotypicals. How is it that the "broken people", the disabled, use words that converge upon the same concept of a shared moral ineptitude when referring to society at large? There are many kinds of autism, and the strengths and weaknesses associated with each variety are different, but one thing is generally true: no matter how obnoxiously self-serving, infuriating, and even oblivious their inappropriate behavior may be, autistics rarely engage in deceit. The difference is common, and it is very easy to claim it as a preferred and morally superior mode of thinking.

I wish that game theory would offer me a pleasant solution, but my reading of it so far just confirms the depressing inevitability of it all.  Collective self-interest supersedes individual moral reward.  It's how the universe is built.  In order for cooperative gameplay to reach maximum reward, a society should exclude individuals who persistently succumb to deceit.  People who can "read" other people and adjust their behavior accordingly have the mathematical advantage in playing the game of life amongst a population of skillful deceivers.  The sheeple who can move with the herd reap better rewards than the single-minded soloists who evaluate themselves by their own private standards.

Even better, of course, is a game played without deceivers, autistic sensibilities overriding unfortunate realities.  Hence the separatist urges, the demeaning names.  Cooperation amongst autistics, however, is difficult to achieve because of their solo interests.  Individually remarkable but collectively uncoordinated.  Progress is difficult.  There must be some healthy way to merge stereotypical American individuality with stereotypical Chinese communality.  It certainly won't occur with name-calling as standard behavior.  I'll work on that and keep hoping for more productive solutions later.  I'll try again to keep my thoughts in good order.

Comments

[foeclan.livejournal.com]

You see this in many (if not all) communities. I still cringe when fannish folk refer to non-fannish folk as 'mundanes' or 'norms' in a derogatory tone, as though they're inferior because they're not 'of the body'.

Each of us is part of someone else's 'subhuman' category, and we tend to get irritated when people judge us in that fashion, while not thinking about the fact that we do exactly the same thing to other groups without thinking about it. Think geeks/mundanes, bears/twinks, atheists/nutbags, hang out with a community long enough and odds are you'll hear someone use an epithet to describe people outside that community. Not saying everyone, but there will inevitably be people who think that way. Even if they're autistic/good churchgoing people/fans/bears/whatever.

So yeah, I agree. Something not to do.

[dangerdhotrod.livejournal.com]

getting into this mode of thinking can be rough. starting to view people in this way begins a process of disassociation that has a positive feedback. the more you look for it the more you find it.

but the labels often are about regaining power too, so it's not all bad. people in marginal groups can feel that "you can't fire me, i quit!" kind of way.

i like to try to get to a place where i honestly could care less how people label me. not in a negative way either - not by shutting off, more like laughing it off and loving it back. people are funny, no need to worry?