To be, or not to be

[mellowtigger]

Normally I remember only a handful of dreams a year, and those tend to be dreams of recurring themes.  Exceptionally rare are dreams of original material that I remember upon waking.  In recent days, though, I have exceeded my annual quota.  I think last night I may have finally figured out the cause.

A body will crave things that it needs.  So too will a mind.  I have spent many years simplifying my life, removing things that seemed unnecessary.  Apparently now though my mind craves emotional complexities that I consciously avoid.  I haven't dated in 11 years.  I needed my own space to ponder many issues, and I figured it was a sort of kindness, actually, to not inflict myself upon anyone new.  So it was a bit troublesome to find that "the men of my dreams" were actually showing up in my dreams.  Last night the dead made an appearance too.  The surprise of it was sufficient to wake me immediately upon seeing him.  At least I figured it out finally, I think.  My mind craves the complexity of a relationship again.

Naughty mind.  As soon as I find it, I'll have to give it a proper scolding.

Comments

[bigsockgrrl.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you've got a good foundation of self care. Perhaps you've removed enough of the other complexities that you could handle a low key relationship if you so choose.

If that's just not in the cards, your body and subconscious mind probably still want some cuddles. I know mine do. And I really don't want to date anyone new. I've got enough to handle with all my projects and long distance relationships (even though only one of them is romantic, they all take energy). My current hypothesis is that non-sexual touch is the kind of touch I need that I can't provide for myself. So between visits from family and friends, I'm getting bodywork done and participating in events within a safe community of people that are body centered and allow for non-sexual touch. I haven't quite got up the courage to touch folks much. My comfort level with the idea continues to rise; I'll get there.

[mellowtigger]

Hrmmm. Maybe that's why some people sleep with their dogs on the bed? Simple animal comfort? I'd believe it. :)