a funny thing happened on the way to the wedding

I attended the marriage of a coworker today.  The new husband and wife will be going to London for their honeymoon vacation.  (I'm working extra hours for the next 2 weeks to help cover for his absence.)

I've attended several weddings during my lifetime.  I've attended weddings for many couples and for one triad (1 male, 2 females).  I've attended weddings for heterosexuals and for homosexuals.  Only about half of the weddings I've attended were ever recognized as legitimate social contracts by the government.  Among those that were recognized, the majority of them were "shotgun weddings".  That phrase means that the marriage was performed only because the guy got the girl pregnant.  What does it say about the sanctity of this institution when most of the people (in my limited experience as a wedding guest) who get the power of government authority behind their marriages are the least likely to treat the process respectfully?

Today's wedding had been planned for almost 2 years by the happy couple.  Apparently the calendar date "10-10-10" was a popular marriage date for many people around the whole planet.  The nice ceremony made me realize that, in stark contrast, shotgun weddings really aren't very elaborate with the ceremony.  Given my prior experience with "straight" weddings, I stopped at a Burger King a few blocks from the event so I could eat a quick meal before attending.  I didn't realize or remember that these big events include a catered meal, free champagne, mood lights, and even a 4-tier chocolate fountain with fruit kabobs.  Doh!  My mistake!  I tried to eat some of everything anyway, because it was all so sumptuous.  :)

My last wedding was about 13 years ago, among the family of my last boyfriend.  Fred's younger sister was getting married down in Corpus Christi, Texas.  We drove from Austin to help set up the event in the back yard.  I thought that it all turned out very nice, actually.  I was pleased to help out.  I was probably oblivious to a lot of what was really happening, though.  Weeks or months later, she miscarried.  The guy promptly divorced her.  Shotgun weddings just aren't very reliable.  Social coercion seems like a really bad motivator for marital stability, regardless of what the various religions claim.  Social support seems like a good idea, but coercion doesn't.  I think it's a tremendously bad idea to start claiming authority over who must and who must not marry.

My first gay wedding was about 20 years ago.  It was a nice ceremony at the huge house of two professors from Texas A&M University.  It was simple, mostly just a commemoration of the relationship that they had already built together.

My favorite wedding was about 17 years ago, and it was the triad.  We guests sat in a circle on the ground outdoors under the blue sky.  The triad sat in the center while they said their vows to each other.  They blessed some bread and some water.  We all passed it around the circle while taking some of it to enjoy.  It was very low-key, and I liked it a lot.

I expect never to marry.  I think seriously and approvingly of the concept of marriage, but I just don't see it happening to me.  Nevertheless, I still find it enjoyable to see that other people embark on such journeys of self-discovery.  Marriage can be a good thing.  Such social contracts happen all the time.  It would be nice if government would recognize what's already happening in the society.  Legal support (especially in time of distress at a hospital) is very helpful.